You changed my life.

I'm going to blog about you today. You changed my life one way or another. I'm not perfect, I have attitude problem, blah blah blah blah. I was so happy back then, nothing could make me pissed off for more then 10minutes except family issues. Till, I met you, I changed. I don't know why, sometimes I would get quite pissed off with you or you would get pissed off with me and I won't feel good too. it will stay on my mind for as long as it wants. I never need a listening ear ever since secondary3. You proven it wrong to me. I got so upset at one point of time, that I needed a listening ear.

I though we were good.. I was wrong. We couldn't communicate. I treated you as though you are one of my sibling. My ways of treating you were obviously wrong. Instead of bonding and get to know each other more, we drift further apart. Alot of times, I talk without thinking. I have hurted your pride. My character is like this. I tried changing, but i failed and I'm quite unwilling to change.

I choose to escape from this situation. The moment we talk, there will be conflict. Since I can't control my mouth, I rather have slience then conflict. Whatever the outcome is, I have chosen it. I was supposed to be able to handle any major situation/conflicts, but I was wrong. It seems I have put too much confidence in myself already.

With that, more and more problems sets in. I really wish for us to be as close as before, as when we just knew each other. I know I cared for you. I too have a sharp mouth but a soft heart inside. It's not easy to see the soft side of me too. I havn't seen it myself for 2 years already. I thought I could help you, turns out I'm a failure myself. Tch, what a joke.

This blog, have many of my reflections. This is one of the very few emotional post of mine. What is going on? Where will this lead me to. I dont have any clear directions anymore. Lastly, I, YaN apologise in this blog of mine to you. I'm sorry.