It's 3.43 am now.
Well, i couldn't sleep, and there is nothing i could do.
Yeah, so i'll blog to kill time.
My god, i just gotten viral infection.
I think i jolly well deserved it.
Even when i was having sore throat,
I continued to eat junk food,
resulting viral infection.
Anyway i recovered and was on mc for 2days.
That's shit, because those aunties will nag/ask
why you sick? i have to cover your duties during your 2days of mcs.
Blah.. Blah..
I hate that.
Past few days, i was doing absolutely nothing.
Going out also seems to be bored.
There is like nothing to enjoy out there.
When I'm inside, it would be computer.
Never ever will i take a book and read it.
How boring my life is!
My mum went oversea anyway.
Seems to me i have changed.
I used to love it when my mum go overseas.
It would mean freedom.
Now, i'm not one bit happy.
Instead i felt bored.
My house is like a hotel.
My relationship with my sister isn't going any better.
Sigh..
Okay, i shall stop here.
Goodnight all.
Ps
Where are youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu?
I miss you so muchhhhhhh =[
Monday, December 7, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
straighten thinking.
Ha, i'm blogging now.!
I want to go back studies.
I love to study.
These few days, always work work work!
If ever i have off, it will be out!
I didn't stay home and mug computer anymore!
I discuss with my mom too.
I told her if my Ns letter don''t come by end of december,
I may want to get back to studies, ITE.
The other option, would be after army, i go ahead with private.
Initially, she was giving me a negative answer.
She still sense that i'm hook on the computer.
However, after i told her, my next course that i'll be studying wouldn't be computer anymore.
It seems that she once again believed in me.
Thank god.
I lost this trust several years ago.
I want to earn it back!
I found out, my interest was in business!
I want to study more about business!
COMPUTER IS JUST SHIT.
Though i was years behind my friends, but i will make it!=]
ever since, i went full time work,
without any studies, i was idling around.
then i fully realise the pressure of a adult,
Its about money.
Okay, Hope my path onwards will be great!
My beloved mum...
Shes always so good, supporting me.
yet i showed her my stupid attituide.
No matter how old you are, all mothers will treat their children as kids.
Forever taking care of them, worrying for them.
I love my mother <3.
Next will be my sister!
They were so good to my previously!
All my branded stuff were bought by my sister.
I will try to be better.
I was so cold to my family eversince 2009.
I love my sisters too!
This is for lynn de,
Bendannnnnnnn lol.
so cute ;D
Hope you enjoyed the song.
My first time singing for a girl.
<3
Bye Bye.
I want to go back studies.
I love to study.
These few days, always work work work!
If ever i have off, it will be out!
I didn't stay home and mug computer anymore!
I discuss with my mom too.
I told her if my Ns letter don''t come by end of december,
I may want to get back to studies, ITE.
The other option, would be after army, i go ahead with private.
Initially, she was giving me a negative answer.
She still sense that i'm hook on the computer.
However, after i told her, my next course that i'll be studying wouldn't be computer anymore.
It seems that she once again believed in me.
Thank god.
I lost this trust several years ago.
I want to earn it back!
I found out, my interest was in business!
I want to study more about business!
COMPUTER IS JUST SHIT.
Though i was years behind my friends, but i will make it!=]
ever since, i went full time work,
without any studies, i was idling around.
then i fully realise the pressure of a adult,
Its about money.
Okay, Hope my path onwards will be great!
My beloved mum...
Shes always so good, supporting me.
yet i showed her my stupid attituide.
No matter how old you are, all mothers will treat their children as kids.
Forever taking care of them, worrying for them.
I love my mother <3.
Next will be my sister!
They were so good to my previously!
All my branded stuff were bought by my sister.
I will try to be better.
I was so cold to my family eversince 2009.
I love my sisters too!
This is for lynn de,
Bendannnnnnnn lol.
so cute ;D
Hope you enjoyed the song.
My first time singing for a girl.
<3
Bye Bye.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
It's been 3month plus ever since i blogged.
Suddenly i felt like blogging, so here i come!
I have been pondering some question these few weeks.
It seems that i have finally realised what was my character like.
Through great experiences, interaction with friends, Reflection,
made me have a major change in my life.
Alright, I was really, i mean it, really a complete loser.
i would make use of friends, often beg them when i need help,
and to my surprise, when they needed help, i won't usually help unless it's very important,
and i did it very reluctantly.
I didn't want it that way.
But in my mind,
i didn't realise that my actions really would make my friends detest me.
It was friends, good friends who told me countless time,
and after doing countless of reflections, i realise i was wrong.
I have spoilt so many many and many of my relationship with my friends.
Its time i have a change! And i mean it!
Another would be, i was stubborn as a mule.
I always have the mindset of "I AM IN THE RIGHT! THEY ARE ALL WRONG!."
Even if i'm at fault, i will find many many reasons to push the blame to others,
or have tons of excuse comforting myself, which is,
" i admit it was my fault due to maintaining of relationships", etc.
Stubborness really caused me whole lot of troubles.
These 2 points clearly show that i was a self-centered person.
Only until recently, i still find excuses,
reasons to run away from the reality about being self-centered.
I thought i was a good friend, a very very good one.
It was all a thought.
I was also egoistic, I felt people will come to me to make friends with me.
I don't have to befriend them, they will automatically come to me.
I was so damn wrong!
Thats the reason why i often don't social and talk much to my friend's friend.
To add up, contradictingly, i lack self-esteem, and confidence.
Being fat really made me lost a lot of confidence and self-esteem.
That made me shy to talk to girls or getting to know new girl friends.
I still remember during secondary school days,
when i was in secondary 1 till end year secondary 2.
Back then i was really talking to girls more then i talk to guys.
I have more girl friends then boy friends.
Every night, i will never fail to have phone talk with girls.
Things changed gradually,Times are different now.
My god, i have so many weak points in my characteristic!
Of cause, i did another reflections.
What made me into this?
Why was i like that?
The answer was simple.
Computer Gaming.
I got hooked into Maplestory on secondary 2.
From that point on, my life was changed drastically.
After school, i returned home straight, affecting my time spend with friends.
My school work deproved alot.
The worst of all, I created for myself tremendous stress and family problems.
Let me explain why,
Firstly, i had computer addiction, thus creating alot of family problems.
Souring my relationships with between my sister and me,
I became very violent when my gaming hours get affected.
My mum really tried her best to help me.
She's really at her end's wit.
Still, i didn't give in.
I was a hypocrite then, giving false promise just to play Maplestory.
I lie,i even steal money from my house to go lan gaming.
My mum...
I really felt very apologetic towards her.
In the game, Maplestory, i was had quite a reputable name, thus making me feel
Superior towards Fellow maplers, and i mixed up real life and virtual.
Real life and virtual world was like the same to me.
And i was very into damage, damage was very important in this game.
I had a lot of stress on how to upgrade my equips.
Everyday, i couldn't sleep.
Once i'm on bed, my mind would be about upgrading equips.
Resulting in insomia, and being absence in school then.
Also inside, i could get all the help i need, and i don't have to help other people.
I can always give some excuse to avoid it, which also result in being self-centered.
Of cause, as i said, i mixed real life and virtual, so yeah. Self - Centered!
I also mentioned in many of my post before, i always reject friend's request to go out.
These clearly was because i wanted to play maplestory.
Sigh.. i was really a loser in secondary school.
Such low life i have got here.
Now, its all past, i have quitted school and regretted.
It's all experience now.
I will undergo a change!
That, i can promised!
Suddenly i felt like blogging, so here i come!
I have been pondering some question these few weeks.
It seems that i have finally realised what was my character like.
Through great experiences, interaction with friends, Reflection,
made me have a major change in my life.
Alright, I was really, i mean it, really a complete loser.
i would make use of friends, often beg them when i need help,
and to my surprise, when they needed help, i won't usually help unless it's very important,
and i did it very reluctantly.
I didn't want it that way.
But in my mind,
i didn't realise that my actions really would make my friends detest me.
It was friends, good friends who told me countless time,
and after doing countless of reflections, i realise i was wrong.
I have spoilt so many many and many of my relationship with my friends.
Its time i have a change! And i mean it!
Another would be, i was stubborn as a mule.
I always have the mindset of "I AM IN THE RIGHT! THEY ARE ALL WRONG!."
Even if i'm at fault, i will find many many reasons to push the blame to others,
or have tons of excuse comforting myself, which is,
" i admit it was my fault due to maintaining of relationships", etc.
Stubborness really caused me whole lot of troubles.
These 2 points clearly show that i was a self-centered person.
Only until recently, i still find excuses,
reasons to run away from the reality about being self-centered.
I thought i was a good friend, a very very good one.
It was all a thought.
I was also egoistic, I felt people will come to me to make friends with me.
I don't have to befriend them, they will automatically come to me.
I was so damn wrong!
Thats the reason why i often don't social and talk much to my friend's friend.
To add up, contradictingly, i lack self-esteem, and confidence.
Being fat really made me lost a lot of confidence and self-esteem.
That made me shy to talk to girls or getting to know new girl friends.
I still remember during secondary school days,
when i was in secondary 1 till end year secondary 2.
Back then i was really talking to girls more then i talk to guys.
I have more girl friends then boy friends.
Every night, i will never fail to have phone talk with girls.
Things changed gradually,Times are different now.
My god, i have so many weak points in my characteristic!
Of cause, i did another reflections.
What made me into this?
Why was i like that?
The answer was simple.
Computer Gaming.
I got hooked into Maplestory on secondary 2.
From that point on, my life was changed drastically.
After school, i returned home straight, affecting my time spend with friends.
My school work deproved alot.
The worst of all, I created for myself tremendous stress and family problems.
Let me explain why,
Firstly, i had computer addiction, thus creating alot of family problems.
Souring my relationships with between my sister and me,
I became very violent when my gaming hours get affected.
My mum really tried her best to help me.
She's really at her end's wit.
Still, i didn't give in.
I was a hypocrite then, giving false promise just to play Maplestory.
I lie,i even steal money from my house to go lan gaming.
My mum...
I really felt very apologetic towards her.
In the game, Maplestory, i was had quite a reputable name, thus making me feel
Superior towards Fellow maplers, and i mixed up real life and virtual.
Real life and virtual world was like the same to me.
And i was very into damage, damage was very important in this game.
I had a lot of stress on how to upgrade my equips.
Everyday, i couldn't sleep.
Once i'm on bed, my mind would be about upgrading equips.
Resulting in insomia, and being absence in school then.
Also inside, i could get all the help i need, and i don't have to help other people.
I can always give some excuse to avoid it, which also result in being self-centered.
Of cause, as i said, i mixed real life and virtual, so yeah. Self - Centered!
I also mentioned in many of my post before, i always reject friend's request to go out.
These clearly was because i wanted to play maplestory.
Sigh.. i was really a loser in secondary school.
Such low life i have got here.
Now, its all past, i have quitted school and regretted.
It's all experience now.
I will undergo a change!
That, i can promised!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
new term ;D
it's bad, everytime, i wanted to blog, i have nothing to type.
After i'm done with blogging, ill have alot of things that i wanted to type.
Damn this, why like that?
I realised i've lost quite an amount of friends.
It's all my fault, i can blame no one.
Everybody asked me out, but i rejected.
Slowly, they won't ask you to go out anymore.
Sigh, i missed the golden period.
Secondary school is the best.
Thats where you get to know true friends.
I really regretted that i didn't socialise during the later part of secondary school days.
I was on the internet everyday single day.
As you go higher, there will be politics, it's everywhere.
Although i hate politics, but i just have to cope with it.
I'm sure nobody like politics.
I missed my secondary school friends.
They really help each other out.
Hopefully, there will be another outing, this time, i'll go for sure!
Today, i went to catch 2 movies.
One was ice age 3 and another was transformer.
I must say ice age 3 isn't that nice, transformer on the other hand, was astonishing.
So far, it's the only movie which have a second part,
and i felt it's better then the previous one.
All other movies, which have a second or third part,
I didn't thought it was as nice or nicer then the part one movie.
Very good show indeed, It's worth my 6bucks.
Alright, i'll end here, byebye everyone.
=)
After i'm done with blogging, ill have alot of things that i wanted to type.
Damn this, why like that?
I realised i've lost quite an amount of friends.
It's all my fault, i can blame no one.
Everybody asked me out, but i rejected.
Slowly, they won't ask you to go out anymore.
Sigh, i missed the golden period.
Secondary school is the best.
Thats where you get to know true friends.
I really regretted that i didn't socialise during the later part of secondary school days.
I was on the internet everyday single day.
As you go higher, there will be politics, it's everywhere.
Although i hate politics, but i just have to cope with it.
I'm sure nobody like politics.
I missed my secondary school friends.
They really help each other out.
Hopefully, there will be another outing, this time, i'll go for sure!
Today, i went to catch 2 movies.
One was ice age 3 and another was transformer.
I must say ice age 3 isn't that nice, transformer on the other hand, was astonishing.
So far, it's the only movie which have a second part,
and i felt it's better then the previous one.
All other movies, which have a second or third part,
I didn't thought it was as nice or nicer then the part one movie.
Very good show indeed, It's worth my 6bucks.
Alright, i'll end here, byebye everyone.
=)
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Moody
Finally i updated, but updated due to super boring.
I'm still as lazy as ever, alot of things haven't done.
I'm in a total loss now.Very complicated.
But i do love her..
Really wished her to be happy.
I don't know what can i do to make her happy.
I will try my best, hope she will be happy.
Hope it will works.
Things will be better . =)
I'm still as lazy as ever, alot of things haven't done.
I'm in a total loss now.Very complicated.
But i do love her..
Really wished her to be happy.
I don't know what can i do to make her happy.
I will try my best, hope she will be happy.
Hope it will works.
Things will be better . =)
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Finally i updated my blog. -.-
Things wasn't as good as before.
History seems to be repeating itself.
I couldn't conquer the old me.
It was real hard.
This is definitely going to affects my studies.
Sincerely hope i can cancel the word lazy in my dictionary. -___-
More and more pressure are coming up.
I shall blog about this one incident that happen during the past weeks.
I found out that Science and religons really conflict each other.
In science, there is no such thing as religons.
Everything has to have prove.
I find it quite fascinating that there is still tons of people who believe in religons.
Although i am a free thinker myself, But whatever i says here wasn't meant to be insulting.
Sometimes, i really wonder, if i'm dead, where will i really be?
After watching this move call "Angel and Demons",
It made me wonder more.
There are many religons, and i believe most followers choose their religon due to their older generation or influence.
I have seen myself how being in a religon have changed and helped a person tremendously.
This is something that is worth rejoicing!
I personally respect these religons, however i couldn't really believe that god actually existed.
Pershaps i should end the topic here and not elaborate much on it.
Things wasn't as good as before.
History seems to be repeating itself.
I couldn't conquer the old me.
It was real hard.
This is definitely going to affects my studies.
Sincerely hope i can cancel the word lazy in my dictionary. -___-
More and more pressure are coming up.
I shall blog about this one incident that happen during the past weeks.
I found out that Science and religons really conflict each other.
In science, there is no such thing as religons.
Everything has to have prove.
I find it quite fascinating that there is still tons of people who believe in religons.
Although i am a free thinker myself, But whatever i says here wasn't meant to be insulting.
Sometimes, i really wonder, if i'm dead, where will i really be?
After watching this move call "Angel and Demons",
It made me wonder more.
There are many religons, and i believe most followers choose their religon due to their older generation or influence.
I have seen myself how being in a religon have changed and helped a person tremendously.
This is something that is worth rejoicing!
I personally respect these religons, however i couldn't really believe that god actually existed.
Pershaps i should end the topic here and not elaborate much on it.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Sigh
Suddenly, i kinda miss her.
Its been so long yet suddenly i miss her.
I hope this stop, nothing will come out of it.
Sigh...
Trying to cope in school also, it isn't easy.
From a super lazy me to become hardworking,
Really take alot of perservance.
Nevertheless, ill try.
So long already, i havn't been able to have a proper sleep.
I know what causes it, but it is very hard to quit gaming.
I am trying to moderate games and work already.
hopefully can achieve it.
Nothing to talk about already.
Gone,,
Its been so long yet suddenly i miss her.
I hope this stop, nothing will come out of it.
Sigh...
Trying to cope in school also, it isn't easy.
From a super lazy me to become hardworking,
Really take alot of perservance.
Nevertheless, ill try.
So long already, i havn't been able to have a proper sleep.
I know what causes it, but it is very hard to quit gaming.
I am trying to moderate games and work already.
hopefully can achieve it.
Nothing to talk about already.
Gone,,
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